Remembering my first visit to India in 2003 in search of “inner peace” at an ashram outside Bangalore. Finding my self pretty scared and distrustful when arriving at the central train station in the middle of the night. Was wondering why and realized that it probably would have been the same anywhere at that time of night in a new place. It was the feeling of being disconnected to the people and the space around me that created this fear in me, not feeling like I belonged there. If I felt like one with all, would there be no fear in me anymore? And would I really want to be rid or all fear, or is a pinch of fear necessary to keep oneself alert and cautious enough to stay out of trouble. I guess it depends of the situation, if the feeling of fear is just prohibiting us or helping us. And is it the feeling of fear or the actual danger that is most essential? No matter if it is motivated or not, the feeling is there and it is real. So, how do we deal with it, how to overcome it? I’ve realized that this search for the feeling of connection and belongingness is something that most of my work revolves around, on a hopeless quest, trying to manifest through form, this longing which is formless.
Wanted to cite some words on “fear” from Sri Sri Ravi Shankar (in who’s Ashram I was staying on my first visit).
“Because fear is love standing upside down, everything that can be interpreted with love can also be interpreted with fear. A child clinging to his mother can be understood in both ways – the child clings out of love or out of fear.”
“Fear is an impression of the past reflecting the future of the present. When people delay fear, they become egocentric; when they recognize and accept fear, they go beyond it – they become free from it.”
“Total lack of fear is possible only in utter chaos or in outmost orderliness. Neither a saint nor a fool has fear, but everywhere in between there is fear. Fear is essential to preserve orderliness in the world. It is a primal instinct.”